The Cake Rejection Letter

Dear Ms XXXXX:

We appreciate your interest in XXXX Agency. Unfortunately, you did not quite meet our requirements.

We specifically mandated a short skirt and a long—long—jacket. While your skirt was, it should be noted, satisfactorily short, your jacket was merely long, whereas the needs of our agency at this time demand long—long. In addition, you did have a great supply of allocations, but we were unable to either confirm or deny the rightness of said allocations.

However, we are certain that many other agencies would be consider your dividends to be right. Please understand the subjectivity of this business, and know that, while we found your voice to be a roseate variety of glass, others will certainly find it dark enough.

We wish you the best of success in your future endeavors, and thank you for your interest in our Agency.

Sincerely,
XXXXXXX

P.S. Please consider repolishing your fingernails. At the moment, they shine more like martial law.

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